24.05.13

my bed lies in a town where i'm surrounded by two hundred thousand others. yet i feel so alone. my heart has been pierced, my mind blown against the wall. spread out and sickly like stomach projections left on the sidewalk. what pats and purrs dissolve this facade to close in so near to the truth that not even i have seen. get out. run. run far away so you never see. it's better not to learn what vile lies beneath. whatever matter, it is undeserving of your affections. caged for life but in no way domesticated. the wilderness hides deep within where only those who are lost will find familiar scenes.

22.05.13

I have a constant fear that no matter what I do or where I go, I will never be enough. It's not enough to be good at something, to be nice or funny or different. It feels like there's something missing. Something  imperative but I have no idea what. I'm flailing backwards into darkness like in my dreams. There's nothing to hold onto. Nothing to grasp to stop myself from slipping further into myself. I need someone, something, anything to save me from this. Anything but this.

Sverige #5